First off, I suppose I should explain who 'John' is. Watch this video. It's not the exact video I'd hoped to show, but it's the American version, which is basically the same, and - crucially - features the same man. 'John'.
Now I know that video may not seem annoying to you, in fact it probably seems quite harmless and silly (which, to be fair, it is). But then you haven't worked with it, have you? I've had to put up with that on a constant loop EVERY SINGLE TIME that I go into work. FOR TWO MONTHS. Well, probably about two months, it all blends into one horrible John-filled lump.
The main reason why I find this advert annoying is that there are moments of absolute fantasy in them (such as the 'John' moment), which, along with the usual Barry Scott-esque general OTT tone, have slowly worn me down to the point where I start talking along with them, as if they're some kind of catchphrase, and then getting angry at myself for talking along with them. When I say "...moments of absolute fantasy...", what I'm referring to are the moments where they suggest that, by purchasing the product in question, you're going to suddenly realise how amazing everyone thinks you are, to the point where (people I presume to be) strangers openly express their admiration for you to each other, whilst (people I presume to be) close friends feel the need to share with each other their sincere wish for you to enjoy a party.
Personally, I'd have been quite keen to have seen them replace the 'John' bit with a section where a bloke hears two people talking about how olives have gone up in price a lot recently, and the bit with the girl on the beach with the two girls sharing celebrity gossip. Because that's what you'll actually hear if you start spying on people, you nosy prick. I'd actually have preferred to hear John stumbling upon his wife's affair, and that girl hearing how strangers think she's disgusting, but I'm aware they probably wouldn't air that version.
To make things worse, there are more of them. Lots more. We currently have a couple of screens on either side of the entrance to the store, both showing different sets of JML adverts, which probably explains why there seems to have been less customers than usual in the last few days. These feature such lines as "car washes can...more often than not...scratch your paintwork" and "save yourself money, without using costly water..." (both from the Mantis Instant Shine ad - again, slightly different in-store). Now, either this bloke is going to an awful (and very overpriced) wash, or he's talking shit.
To summarise, I'm a miserable bastard, JML adverts are annoying, Americanised, hyperbolic toss, and John had better be enjoying his surprise party.
Wednesday 28 September 2011
Wednesday 27 July 2011
A Ramble About...Uruguay, But Also England.
So, a few nights back Uruguay lifted the Copa América trophy. As some of you may know, I'm rather big on Uruguay, for reasons I can't actually remember, so this made me quite happy. It also got me thinking, though, about how awful it makes the English national team look.
As such, I'm going to do a little piece about some the factors that shaped Uruguay's journey to their fifteenth Copa América title, and their chances of building on this success, and I'll be following that by comparing the recent fortunes of Uruguay and England.
Uruguay: A Journey To Glory
Whilst their Copa América triumph will no doubt come as a shock to many, there has been plenty of evidence in the last two years to suggest it was going to be possible. Their run to the last four of World Cup 2010 was the biggest indication of the potential of Oscar Tabárez's side, as they demonstrated the combination of traditional Uruguayan mettle - the spirit of the Charrúa, some might say - and a more modern offensive flair, in line with the style of football many associate with South America, all watched over by an experienced coach with a strong knowledge of the tactical side of the game and a squad with the flexibility to be able to shift between several tactical approaches with, at most, a single substitution. I wanted to show you this with chalkboards, as they're much better, but the Zonal Marking chalkboards that show their different formations all feature different starting lineups, so it's not quite nailing the point I'm trying to make. As such, I'll try and explain it with boring old words.
442
At the back you will often see a centre back pairing of Diego Lugano and one of Diego Godín and Mauricio Victorino (or more recently Sebastián Coates) with Martín Cáceres and Maxi Pereira occupying the fullback spots. On the left of midfield you'll see Álvaro Pereira, with Diego Pérez and Egidio Arévalo Ríos holding the centre of midfield and either Luis Suárez or Edinson Cavani on the right. Up front, Diego Forlán - the most capped Uruguayan of all time and now joint record goalscorer alongside Héctor Scarone - drops deep to link play, with the other one of Suárez and Cavani up front.
523 (or 343, if you prefer)
Here, you'll still find Lugano and Godín/Victorino/Coates occupying two of the centre back positions, with Martin Cáceres moving in to play as the third CB. Maxi Pereira pushes forward to be the right wingback, with namesake Alvaro filling the role on the left hand side. Pérez and Arévalo continue to anchor the midfield, with Forlán continuing to drop deep and play in Suárez and Cavani, who will also drift wide and try to stretch the opposition.
3232 (352)
This is probably the most interesting one, actually. The back five is the same as above - a back three of Cáceres, Lugano and Godín supported by the Pereira's - but the central midfield trio offer all sorts of possibilities. You'll still find Pérez and Arévalo in there, but who the third man is can totally change Uruguay's style of play. Put in someone like Walter Gargano or Álvaro González (though I still don't really know why you'd want to do that), and you get a hard-working midfield trio that will be effective in shutting down creative teams like Brazil and Argentina. If, instead, you select Nicolás Lodeiro, you get a creative player who will play in a more advanced position and link more with the front two - most likely Forlán and Suárez - ideal for helping break down sides who are likely to set their stalls out to defend. There is, of course, the option of using Forlán as the third man in midfield, with Cavani and Suárez up front, but this would make it very similar to the 523 mentioned above.
---
The other main factor in Uruguay's success in the relative demise of South America's two superpowers, Brazil and Argentina. While both are known for exciting football and producing some of the greatest players to ever step on a pitch, in recent years they have both struggled to adapt to the modern game, and have subsequently failed to live up to the expectations that come with their history.
Brazil's downturn arguably started when Dunga took over. A combative midfielder in his playing career, this could be seen in his tactics. With two holding midfielders regularly featuring in their side since his appointment, Brazil have often lacked the creativity with with they are so often associated, often relying on their wingbacks to provide width to their attacks. The creative central midfielder/support striker in the Kaká has almost faded out of the game, with the man himself spending a long spell on the sidelines and his long term replacement, Ganso, is still adapting to international football. As such, a lot of pressure has been heaped on the front line, which itself could been seen to be in transition.
These days, it would probably be more accurate to describe Brazil as a side based on a good defence, rather than an unstoppable offence - particularly now, when they are trying to allow the likes of Pato and Neymar the chance to establish themselves - and this could be argued to have been their undoing at the Copa, where their young strikers failed to shine, and their usually solid centreback pairing of Lúcio and Thiago Silva wasn't quite up to their normal standard.
Argentina, meanwhile, have the opposite problem. They probably possess (at least on paper) the best group of attacking players in the world - including Tevez, Milito, Agüero, Higuaín, Lavezzi, Pastore, Di Maria and, of course, Lionel Messi - but they lack a defence capable of supporting such a potent attack. Whilst Sergio Romero is undoubtedly a good goalkeeper, he probably isn't up with the best in the world, and he isn't helped by the men in front of him. The fact that a decent case could be made for 37 year old Javier Zanetti being the most competent of their back five probably sums the situation up. Zanetti is a model professional, and still performs with the energy and class that he has shown throughout his marvellous career, but his time is almost up, and a replacement should have been found a long time ago. Pablo Zabaleta often plays in Zanetti's usual position of right back, but at left back, where Zanetti features nowadays, there are no real options. Emiliano Insúa is probably the most likely replacement, but he has yet to convince many of his capability at a high domestic level, nevermind international. Beyond him, the only options that are likely to be recognised by watchers of European football are Cristian Ansaldi and Fabián Monzón. The fullback situation is so dire that, during his tenure, Diego Maradona sometimes played four centrebacks across the back four (Gabriel Heinze and Nicolás Otamendi playing LB & RB respectively). Things aren't much better in central defence either...
The squad for the Copa América featured Nicolás Burdisso and Gabriel Milito, two experienced defenders, but not exactly world class, as well as the relatively inexperienced trio of Ezequiel Garay and Spartak Moscow duo Nicolás Pareja and Marcos Rojo (who can play all across the back line), and behind them are the likes of Fabricio Coloccini and Martin Demichelis. Not exactly a terrifying prospect for international strikers, are they? Add all this to an attack that sometimes underwhelms, and it is perhaps less shocking to see the Copa América hosts struggling to even get out of their group, before exiting with a whimper in the quarter finals.
So, with both of these teams on the slide, the door was left open for La Celeste to take the title. But what chance do they have of holding onto it when the 2015 tournament comes around? For that matter, will they be able to repeat their South Africa heroics at Brazil 2014? With some of their key players in their early thirties, Uruguay will have to start looking for replacements soon, but with their youth sides doing well - finishing second at the 2011 South American Youth Championship (qualifying for the 2012 Olympics as a result) and losing in the final of the u17 World Cup - there is plenty of hope for the next wave of Uruguayan footballers to be the best for some time.
Uruguay: Future Stars(?)
Here I will highlight all the players from the Copa América winning squad who are currently in their thirties, and pick out some of the most promising young talents that could take their place by the time they have to defend the trophy.
*As with the rest of the article, I've tried to use Wiki where possible, but for those players who don't have an English language Wiki page I've just grabbed any old article that gives a decent amount of info.*
Juan Castillo - GK:
"Who?!" I hear you ask. He's one of the backup goalkeepers, and whilst GK's can generally go well into their thirties, Castillo will be 37 in four year's time, and will almost certainly have been replaced in the squad. The most likely candidates for his spot in the squad are Sebastián Sosa of Peñarol, who impressed in this season's Copa Libertadores, and Rodrigo Muñoz, first choice goalkeeper for current Uruguayan champions Nacional, and a player who has previously been called up to the national team. without featuring. Behind them, and possibly the player to succeed Muslera, is Matías Cubero, who currently features in the Uruguayan youth setup.
Andrés Scotti - CB:
Scotti is already in his mid-thirties, and has almost certainly played his last major international tournament. He has been at the back of the queue for a game, and should be easily replaced. In all honesty, the man to replace him on the bench could be current skipper Diego Lugano. Lugano will soon be in his thirties, and the time may soon come where Uruguay look to the future, and Diego Godín becomes the senior centre back. Alongside Godín, you will almost certainly see the man who made his debut in the group stage of this year's tournament - Sebastián Coates. The youngster has looked assured in his five games to date, and he possesses a similar aerial dominance to Lugano, as well as more in the way of speed. The main concern I had with him was that he sometimes dived into tackles with his feet off the ground, but I didn't notice this being a particular issue in the Copa, so I shall forget about that for now. He's almost certainly going to be moving to Europe this summer, with Porto and several big Premier League clubs interested, so the future is certainly bright for the Nacional youngster. As for players yet to feature in the senior side, Genoa's Diego Polenta and Leandro Cabrera of Atlético Madrid are both likely to make the step up to the full team in the future, and there is also Miguel Britos to consider.
Diego Pérez & Sebastián Eguren - CM:
A player I've really grown to love since I started watching Uruguay, Bolgona's Pérez has formed a fantastic midfield partnership with Botafogo's Arévalo. Eguren, meanwhile, has been a reliable deputy for the two holding midfielders, making most of his appearances from the substitutes' bench, and helping to see out games. Pérez will clearly be the harder of the two to replace, but there are a few players around who could fill these two spots in a few years time. Facundo Piriz is probably the most likely of those players currently based in Uruguay. Like Coates, he is a Nacional player, and one who has been linked with a move to Europe this summer. He is certainly not the same type of player as Pérez - less aggressive in his attempts to win the ball, but still with good timing and strength in the tackle, he also has a good range of passing and a decent shot, and should probably be considered more of a Gargano type midfielder - but could offer an extra dimension when Uruguay decide to leave out Nicolás Loderio in favour of an extra defender/defensive midfielder. Piriz aside, players worth mentioning include Stoke City's Diego Arismendi, who already has two full caps to his name, and Marcel Román, who, like Polenta, is on the books of Serie A side Genoa.
Diego Forlán & Sebastián Abreu - ST:
The star name of Uruguayan football, and easily the most diificult to replace of the four players mentioned, Forlán brings an incredible amount to the team, even when having an off day in front of goal. His vision and set pieces are excellent, and he tends to be the focal point of Uruguayan attacks, coming short to act as the link between midfield and attack. When his time is up he will undoubtedly leave with his name at the top of both the 'caps' and 'goals' charts, but who will emerge to replace him? In order to decide, we will need to consider how his departure will affect the look of the Uruguayan front three.
If we assume, as I do, that Suárez will continue to operate as he does now, and Edinson Cavani moves in to take the central of three striker spots, we could be looking at the likes of Gastón Ramírez, rumoured to be interesting some of the bigger Serie A teams, Jonathan Urretaviscaya (assuming he stops being bounced between Europe and Uruguay), Matias Mier of Universidad Católica in Chile, or Espanyol's recent recruit, Adrián Luna.
If, however, Cavani and Suárez continue to operate in their current roles, a more traditional striker might be required. In this scenario the obvious solution would be Abel Hernández of Palermo, but other options would include Rodrigo Mora (who has - as far as I'm aware - signed for Benfica, despite what that link would have you believe), Santiago Garcia of Atletico Paranaense, and Federico Rodríguez the third player mentioned to be contracted to Genoa.
When it comes to Abreu, we will again need to consider the type of player we are looking for. If Uruguay are looking to find a similar player, they may find their options limited - the only name I can think of is Joaquín Boghossián, who could well end up representing Armenia. If they select a more rounded striker, rather than a targetman, then - aside from those already mentioned - Christian Stuani could be worth considering, not least because he does head the ball well.
Further Reading/Viewing:
Uruguay v England: A Comparison
Right, so now it's time for me to explain how Uruguay's success makes the English team look even worse than they make themselves look. There are a couple of parts to this - first I'll look at the success of both nations, and frame it in the contact of their populations, then I'll look at their progress since World Cup 2002. This will be done by looking at their performances in major tournaments, and by assessing their squads at relevant points along the timeline.
Population and Success
Let's do this bit as a quick head-to-head, shall we?
Estimated Population: England, 52m; Uruguay 3.5m.
Fifa/Cola-Cola World Ranking (as of 27th July 2011): England, 6th; Uruguay, 5th
World Cup Qualifications: England, 13; Uruguay, 11
World Cup Wins: England, 1; Uruguay, 2
WC2010 Performance: England, Second Round; Uruguay, Semi Finalists (4th).
Continental Trophies: England, 0; Uruguay,15
Performance In Last Continental Tournament: England, Did Not Qualify (Euro 2008); Uruguay, Winners (Copa América 2011)
The English haven't really come out of that very well, have they? Maybe they'll do better in the next part...
England v Uruguay: 2002-2011
Okay, so here we'll look at the performances of both teams at major tournaments from WC2002 up to now, and attempt to determine which side has made the greatest improvement in the last decade.
Head-to-head time again:
WC2002 Performance: England, QF; Uruguay, Group Stage
WC2006: England,QF ; Uruguay, Did Not Qualify
WC2010: England, R2; Uruguay SF (4th)
Continental Tournaments, 2002-2010: England, 2; Uruguay, 3
Continental Record, 2002-2010: England, QF & DNQ; Uruguay, 3rd, 4th, Winners.
From these statistics it seems reasonable to argue that England have declined, both on the world and continental stage, with their performances at both the World Cup and European Championships getting worse over time. However, it should also be noted that they have shown greater consistency over the last three World Cup campiagns, qualifying for all three and managing to progress from their group each time.
Meanwhile, Uruguay appear to have consolidated their standing continentally, having always finished in the top four over the period in question, whilst also taking a dramatic rise on the world stage in the last five years. Their performances in 2002 and 2006 were both much poorer than England's, but at WC2010 they managed to achieve their best performance at a World Cup since 1970, when they also finished fourth.
--
So, despite their significantly smaller population, Uruguay come out on top in almost every single category. In defence of England, they were at a much higher level than Uruguay at the beginning of the sample period, and, in all honesty, are probably no better or worse than they were in 2002 (relative to the rest of the world), but this should not take away from the astonishingly rapid impovement in Uruguayan football over the last five years. To go from a side who struggle to even qualify for World Cups to one that makes the semi finals of the tournament inside a decade is an incredible achievement, and one La Celeste will hope to build upon in the coming years.
England are undoubtedly the more consistent of the two nations, both in the last decade and in general, but their 'Golden Generation' would be well served to take note of the current crop of Uruguayan footballers, who have managed to overhaul England's superstars and achieve things that have been predicted (in some cases, almost expected) of Beckham, Gerrard, Rooney and company for a long time.
The footballing culture of Uruguay encourages the continuous development of young talent on a domestic level, whilst, internationally, an acknowedgement of their limitations has led Uruguay to adopt a culture of discipline, hard work and sacrifice. English football, on the other hand, can be seen to encourage clubs to import talent, rather than develop it, whilst also throwing enourmous amounts of praise and pressure onto any youngster who shows promise - a combination which can cripple the development of a talented youngster. Similarly, there is a culture of superstardom, where individuals are often valued more than the team, and success is almost expected, regardless of how likely it is to actually be achieved.
It is perhaps for these reasons that Uruguay has overtaken England in recent years, and now - when the 'Golden Generation' is winding down - may be the time for English football to look and learn from the way other countries have ascended to glory. Spain aside, there is no better example for England than Uruguay...
As such, I'm going to do a little piece about some the factors that shaped Uruguay's journey to their fifteenth Copa América title, and their chances of building on this success, and I'll be following that by comparing the recent fortunes of Uruguay and England.
Uruguay: A Journey To Glory
Whilst their Copa América triumph will no doubt come as a shock to many, there has been plenty of evidence in the last two years to suggest it was going to be possible. Their run to the last four of World Cup 2010 was the biggest indication of the potential of Oscar Tabárez's side, as they demonstrated the combination of traditional Uruguayan mettle - the spirit of the Charrúa, some might say - and a more modern offensive flair, in line with the style of football many associate with South America, all watched over by an experienced coach with a strong knowledge of the tactical side of the game and a squad with the flexibility to be able to shift between several tactical approaches with, at most, a single substitution. I wanted to show you this with chalkboards, as they're much better, but the Zonal Marking chalkboards that show their different formations all feature different starting lineups, so it's not quite nailing the point I'm trying to make. As such, I'll try and explain it with boring old words.
442
At the back you will often see a centre back pairing of Diego Lugano and one of Diego Godín and Mauricio Victorino (or more recently Sebastián Coates) with Martín Cáceres and Maxi Pereira occupying the fullback spots. On the left of midfield you'll see Álvaro Pereira, with Diego Pérez and Egidio Arévalo Ríos holding the centre of midfield and either Luis Suárez or Edinson Cavani on the right. Up front, Diego Forlán - the most capped Uruguayan of all time and now joint record goalscorer alongside Héctor Scarone - drops deep to link play, with the other one of Suárez and Cavani up front.
523 (or 343, if you prefer)
Here, you'll still find Lugano and Godín/Victorino/Coates occupying two of the centre back positions, with Martin Cáceres moving in to play as the third CB. Maxi Pereira pushes forward to be the right wingback, with namesake Alvaro filling the role on the left hand side. Pérez and Arévalo continue to anchor the midfield, with Forlán continuing to drop deep and play in Suárez and Cavani, who will also drift wide and try to stretch the opposition.
3232 (352)
This is probably the most interesting one, actually. The back five is the same as above - a back three of Cáceres, Lugano and Godín supported by the Pereira's - but the central midfield trio offer all sorts of possibilities. You'll still find Pérez and Arévalo in there, but who the third man is can totally change Uruguay's style of play. Put in someone like Walter Gargano or Álvaro González (though I still don't really know why you'd want to do that), and you get a hard-working midfield trio that will be effective in shutting down creative teams like Brazil and Argentina. If, instead, you select Nicolás Lodeiro, you get a creative player who will play in a more advanced position and link more with the front two - most likely Forlán and Suárez - ideal for helping break down sides who are likely to set their stalls out to defend. There is, of course, the option of using Forlán as the third man in midfield, with Cavani and Suárez up front, but this would make it very similar to the 523 mentioned above.
---
The other main factor in Uruguay's success in the relative demise of South America's two superpowers, Brazil and Argentina. While both are known for exciting football and producing some of the greatest players to ever step on a pitch, in recent years they have both struggled to adapt to the modern game, and have subsequently failed to live up to the expectations that come with their history.
Brazil's downturn arguably started when Dunga took over. A combative midfielder in his playing career, this could be seen in his tactics. With two holding midfielders regularly featuring in their side since his appointment, Brazil have often lacked the creativity with with they are so often associated, often relying on their wingbacks to provide width to their attacks. The creative central midfielder/support striker in the Kaká has almost faded out of the game, with the man himself spending a long spell on the sidelines and his long term replacement, Ganso, is still adapting to international football. As such, a lot of pressure has been heaped on the front line, which itself could been seen to be in transition.
These days, it would probably be more accurate to describe Brazil as a side based on a good defence, rather than an unstoppable offence - particularly now, when they are trying to allow the likes of Pato and Neymar the chance to establish themselves - and this could be argued to have been their undoing at the Copa, where their young strikers failed to shine, and their usually solid centreback pairing of Lúcio and Thiago Silva wasn't quite up to their normal standard.
Argentina, meanwhile, have the opposite problem. They probably possess (at least on paper) the best group of attacking players in the world - including Tevez, Milito, Agüero, Higuaín, Lavezzi, Pastore, Di Maria and, of course, Lionel Messi - but they lack a defence capable of supporting such a potent attack. Whilst Sergio Romero is undoubtedly a good goalkeeper, he probably isn't up with the best in the world, and he isn't helped by the men in front of him. The fact that a decent case could be made for 37 year old Javier Zanetti being the most competent of their back five probably sums the situation up. Zanetti is a model professional, and still performs with the energy and class that he has shown throughout his marvellous career, but his time is almost up, and a replacement should have been found a long time ago. Pablo Zabaleta often plays in Zanetti's usual position of right back, but at left back, where Zanetti features nowadays, there are no real options. Emiliano Insúa is probably the most likely replacement, but he has yet to convince many of his capability at a high domestic level, nevermind international. Beyond him, the only options that are likely to be recognised by watchers of European football are Cristian Ansaldi and Fabián Monzón. The fullback situation is so dire that, during his tenure, Diego Maradona sometimes played four centrebacks across the back four (Gabriel Heinze and Nicolás Otamendi playing LB & RB respectively). Things aren't much better in central defence either...
The squad for the Copa América featured Nicolás Burdisso and Gabriel Milito, two experienced defenders, but not exactly world class, as well as the relatively inexperienced trio of Ezequiel Garay and Spartak Moscow duo Nicolás Pareja and Marcos Rojo (who can play all across the back line), and behind them are the likes of Fabricio Coloccini and Martin Demichelis. Not exactly a terrifying prospect for international strikers, are they? Add all this to an attack that sometimes underwhelms, and it is perhaps less shocking to see the Copa América hosts struggling to even get out of their group, before exiting with a whimper in the quarter finals.
So, with both of these teams on the slide, the door was left open for La Celeste to take the title. But what chance do they have of holding onto it when the 2015 tournament comes around? For that matter, will they be able to repeat their South Africa heroics at Brazil 2014? With some of their key players in their early thirties, Uruguay will have to start looking for replacements soon, but with their youth sides doing well - finishing second at the 2011 South American Youth Championship (qualifying for the 2012 Olympics as a result) and losing in the final of the u17 World Cup - there is plenty of hope for the next wave of Uruguayan footballers to be the best for some time.
Uruguay: Future Stars(?)
Here I will highlight all the players from the Copa América winning squad who are currently in their thirties, and pick out some of the most promising young talents that could take their place by the time they have to defend the trophy.
*As with the rest of the article, I've tried to use Wiki where possible, but for those players who don't have an English language Wiki page I've just grabbed any old article that gives a decent amount of info.*
Juan Castillo - GK:
"Who?!" I hear you ask. He's one of the backup goalkeepers, and whilst GK's can generally go well into their thirties, Castillo will be 37 in four year's time, and will almost certainly have been replaced in the squad. The most likely candidates for his spot in the squad are Sebastián Sosa of Peñarol, who impressed in this season's Copa Libertadores, and Rodrigo Muñoz, first choice goalkeeper for current Uruguayan champions Nacional, and a player who has previously been called up to the national team. without featuring. Behind them, and possibly the player to succeed Muslera, is Matías Cubero, who currently features in the Uruguayan youth setup.
Andrés Scotti - CB:
Scotti is already in his mid-thirties, and has almost certainly played his last major international tournament. He has been at the back of the queue for a game, and should be easily replaced. In all honesty, the man to replace him on the bench could be current skipper Diego Lugano. Lugano will soon be in his thirties, and the time may soon come where Uruguay look to the future, and Diego Godín becomes the senior centre back. Alongside Godín, you will almost certainly see the man who made his debut in the group stage of this year's tournament - Sebastián Coates. The youngster has looked assured in his five games to date, and he possesses a similar aerial dominance to Lugano, as well as more in the way of speed. The main concern I had with him was that he sometimes dived into tackles with his feet off the ground, but I didn't notice this being a particular issue in the Copa, so I shall forget about that for now. He's almost certainly going to be moving to Europe this summer, with Porto and several big Premier League clubs interested, so the future is certainly bright for the Nacional youngster. As for players yet to feature in the senior side, Genoa's Diego Polenta and Leandro Cabrera of Atlético Madrid are both likely to make the step up to the full team in the future, and there is also Miguel Britos to consider.
Diego Pérez & Sebastián Eguren - CM:
A player I've really grown to love since I started watching Uruguay, Bolgona's Pérez has formed a fantastic midfield partnership with Botafogo's Arévalo. Eguren, meanwhile, has been a reliable deputy for the two holding midfielders, making most of his appearances from the substitutes' bench, and helping to see out games. Pérez will clearly be the harder of the two to replace, but there are a few players around who could fill these two spots in a few years time. Facundo Piriz is probably the most likely of those players currently based in Uruguay. Like Coates, he is a Nacional player, and one who has been linked with a move to Europe this summer. He is certainly not the same type of player as Pérez - less aggressive in his attempts to win the ball, but still with good timing and strength in the tackle, he also has a good range of passing and a decent shot, and should probably be considered more of a Gargano type midfielder - but could offer an extra dimension when Uruguay decide to leave out Nicolás Loderio in favour of an extra defender/defensive midfielder. Piriz aside, players worth mentioning include Stoke City's Diego Arismendi, who already has two full caps to his name, and Marcel Román, who, like Polenta, is on the books of Serie A side Genoa.
Diego Forlán & Sebastián Abreu - ST:
The star name of Uruguayan football, and easily the most diificult to replace of the four players mentioned, Forlán brings an incredible amount to the team, even when having an off day in front of goal. His vision and set pieces are excellent, and he tends to be the focal point of Uruguayan attacks, coming short to act as the link between midfield and attack. When his time is up he will undoubtedly leave with his name at the top of both the 'caps' and 'goals' charts, but who will emerge to replace him? In order to decide, we will need to consider how his departure will affect the look of the Uruguayan front three.
If we assume, as I do, that Suárez will continue to operate as he does now, and Edinson Cavani moves in to take the central of three striker spots, we could be looking at the likes of Gastón Ramírez, rumoured to be interesting some of the bigger Serie A teams, Jonathan Urretaviscaya (assuming he stops being bounced between Europe and Uruguay), Matias Mier of Universidad Católica in Chile, or Espanyol's recent recruit, Adrián Luna.
If, however, Cavani and Suárez continue to operate in their current roles, a more traditional striker might be required. In this scenario the obvious solution would be Abel Hernández of Palermo, but other options would include Rodrigo Mora (who has - as far as I'm aware - signed for Benfica, despite what that link would have you believe), Santiago Garcia of Atletico Paranaense, and Federico Rodríguez the third player mentioned to be contracted to Genoa.
When it comes to Abreu, we will again need to consider the type of player we are looking for. If Uruguay are looking to find a similar player, they may find their options limited - the only name I can think of is Joaquín Boghossián, who could well end up representing Armenia. If they select a more rounded striker, rather than a targetman, then - aside from those already mentioned - Christian Stuani could be worth considering, not least because he does head the ball well.
Further Reading/Viewing:
- The 2011 u20 World Cup, commencing 29th July. CaughtOffside's 'ones to watch': Adrián Luna & Federico Rodríguez
- IMScouting: Uruguay's Young Guns
- Goal: South American Dispatch
- YouTube: Facundo Piriz (1 of 2)
- YouTube: Sebástian Coates (1 of 3)
- YouTube: Sebastián Sosa (1 of 3)
- YouTube: Santiago Garcia
- YouTube: Federico Rodríguez
- YouTube: Rodrigo Muñoz
- YouTube: Joaquín Boghossián
- YouTube: Jonathan Urretaviscaya
- YouTube: Abel Hernández
Uruguay v England: A Comparison
Right, so now it's time for me to explain how Uruguay's success makes the English team look even worse than they make themselves look. There are a couple of parts to this - first I'll look at the success of both nations, and frame it in the contact of their populations, then I'll look at their progress since World Cup 2002. This will be done by looking at their performances in major tournaments, and by assessing their squads at relevant points along the timeline.
Population and Success
Let's do this bit as a quick head-to-head, shall we?
Estimated Population: England, 52m; Uruguay 3.5m.
Fifa/Cola-Cola World Ranking (as of 27th July 2011): England, 6th; Uruguay, 5th
World Cup Qualifications: England, 13; Uruguay, 11
World Cup Wins: England, 1; Uruguay, 2
WC2010 Performance: England, Second Round; Uruguay, Semi Finalists (4th).
Continental Trophies: England, 0; Uruguay,15
Performance In Last Continental Tournament: England, Did Not Qualify (Euro 2008); Uruguay, Winners (Copa América 2011)
The English haven't really come out of that very well, have they? Maybe they'll do better in the next part...
England v Uruguay: 2002-2011
Okay, so here we'll look at the performances of both teams at major tournaments from WC2002 up to now, and attempt to determine which side has made the greatest improvement in the last decade.
Head-to-head time again:
WC2002 Performance: England, QF; Uruguay, Group Stage
WC2006: England,QF ; Uruguay, Did Not Qualify
WC2010: England, R2; Uruguay SF (4th)
Continental Tournaments, 2002-2010: England, 2; Uruguay, 3
Continental Record, 2002-2010: England, QF & DNQ; Uruguay, 3rd, 4th, Winners.
From these statistics it seems reasonable to argue that England have declined, both on the world and continental stage, with their performances at both the World Cup and European Championships getting worse over time. However, it should also be noted that they have shown greater consistency over the last three World Cup campiagns, qualifying for all three and managing to progress from their group each time.
Meanwhile, Uruguay appear to have consolidated their standing continentally, having always finished in the top four over the period in question, whilst also taking a dramatic rise on the world stage in the last five years. Their performances in 2002 and 2006 were both much poorer than England's, but at WC2010 they managed to achieve their best performance at a World Cup since 1970, when they also finished fourth.
--
So, despite their significantly smaller population, Uruguay come out on top in almost every single category. In defence of England, they were at a much higher level than Uruguay at the beginning of the sample period, and, in all honesty, are probably no better or worse than they were in 2002 (relative to the rest of the world), but this should not take away from the astonishingly rapid impovement in Uruguayan football over the last five years. To go from a side who struggle to even qualify for World Cups to one that makes the semi finals of the tournament inside a decade is an incredible achievement, and one La Celeste will hope to build upon in the coming years.
England are undoubtedly the more consistent of the two nations, both in the last decade and in general, but their 'Golden Generation' would be well served to take note of the current crop of Uruguayan footballers, who have managed to overhaul England's superstars and achieve things that have been predicted (in some cases, almost expected) of Beckham, Gerrard, Rooney and company for a long time.
The footballing culture of Uruguay encourages the continuous development of young talent on a domestic level, whilst, internationally, an acknowedgement of their limitations has led Uruguay to adopt a culture of discipline, hard work and sacrifice. English football, on the other hand, can be seen to encourage clubs to import talent, rather than develop it, whilst also throwing enourmous amounts of praise and pressure onto any youngster who shows promise - a combination which can cripple the development of a talented youngster. Similarly, there is a culture of superstardom, where individuals are often valued more than the team, and success is almost expected, regardless of how likely it is to actually be achieved.
It is perhaps for these reasons that Uruguay has overtaken England in recent years, and now - when the 'Golden Generation' is winding down - may be the time for English football to look and learn from the way other countries have ascended to glory. Spain aside, there is no better example for England than Uruguay...
Sunday 24 July 2011
Hello, Unfortunate Reader.
You poor, poor bastards. I don't know how you've stumbled across this, but if I were you I'd click on something else quickly. This is just a load of nonsense written by an idiot. You won't want to read it.
Still reading? Fine. I guess I'll have to try and entertain you then.
As the title suggests, this is basically going to be a spot where I prattle on about something that's taken my interest. It could football, video games or just something I've seen that's annoyed/amazed me, but whatever the topic it'll be rubbish, so I offer you one last chance to leave now before it's too late...
No? You're staying? Alright, but I did warn you...
Still reading? Fine. I guess I'll have to try and entertain you then.
As the title suggests, this is basically going to be a spot where I prattle on about something that's taken my interest. It could football, video games or just something I've seen that's annoyed/amazed me, but whatever the topic it'll be rubbish, so I offer you one last chance to leave now before it's too late...
No? You're staying? Alright, but I did warn you...
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