First off, I suppose I should explain who 'John' is. Watch this video. It's not the exact video I'd hoped to show, but it's the American version, which is basically the same, and - crucially - features the same man. 'John'.
Now I know that video may not seem annoying to you, in fact it probably seems quite harmless and silly (which, to be fair, it is). But then you haven't worked with it, have you? I've had to put up with that on a constant loop EVERY SINGLE TIME that I go into work. FOR TWO MONTHS. Well, probably about two months, it all blends into one horrible John-filled lump.
The main reason why I find this advert annoying is that there are moments of absolute fantasy in them (such as the 'John' moment), which, along with the usual Barry Scott-esque general OTT tone, have slowly worn me down to the point where I start talking along with them, as if they're some kind of catchphrase, and then getting angry at myself for talking along with them. When I say "...moments of absolute fantasy...", what I'm referring to are the moments where they suggest that, by purchasing the product in question, you're going to suddenly realise how amazing everyone thinks you are, to the point where (people I presume to be) strangers openly express their admiration for you to each other, whilst (people I presume to be) close friends feel the need to share with each other their sincere wish for you to enjoy a party.
Personally, I'd have been quite keen to have seen them replace the 'John' bit with a section where a bloke hears two people talking about how olives have gone up in price a lot recently, and the bit with the girl on the beach with the two girls sharing celebrity gossip. Because that's what you'll actually hear if you start spying on people, you nosy prick. I'd actually have preferred to hear John stumbling upon his wife's affair, and that girl hearing how strangers think she's disgusting, but I'm aware they probably wouldn't air that version.
To make things worse, there are more of them. Lots more. We currently have a couple of screens on either side of the entrance to the store, both showing different sets of JML adverts, which probably explains why there seems to have been less customers than usual in the last few days. These feature such lines as "car washes can...more often than not...scratch your paintwork" and "save yourself money, without using costly water..." (both from the Mantis Instant Shine ad - again, slightly different in-store). Now, either this bloke is going to an awful (and very overpriced) wash, or he's talking shit.
To summarise, I'm a miserable bastard, JML adverts are annoying, Americanised, hyperbolic toss, and John had better be enjoying his surprise party.
